We know. We KNOW that Day 4 is about the worst thing ever, yet it still caught us by surprise.
So, I hope today was the worst and it will all get better from there. I hope.
So I mentioned that I took up a temporary part-time job to pay for these baby proceedings. I had told my part-time job that I needed at least 5 days off postpartum. If baby had come Saturday like we planned, today would have been a good day to return. Instead, baby came Monday, and today was a TERRIBLE time to start. Yet I had already committed, so I got up at 5:30 AM (4 hours sleep!) and tried to act like I know a lot about Power BI deployments. I hadn't done any research since last Friday, but they still seemed to value what I said, so... I guess it worked?
I had to get Betty to school, but first, baby needed fed:
Sabrina stayed home from school today. We had our 2-day baby appointment. Baby is down 8% from her birth weight, which doesn't cause any heartburn for me, but the nurses were concerned. Babies lose weight. that's normal. (shrug). Apparently, Ida isn't developed enough to really truly breastfeed, so the nurse suggested that Jen have Ida try for a bit (to get her practicing), then pump and feed Ida from a bottle. Luckily, Jen's milk has come in, so she's producing plenty.
Dropped in on my parents, and they were glad to snuggle baby. I just barely beat Dad in cribbage.
Came home, got about a 45 minute nap while Jen had Ida nurse, then had to groggily wake up to feed Ida while Jen pumped. Ida went back to sleep after that, and I was supposed to, but instead I came downstairs and did dishes, laundry, and online grocery shopping.
Since last night, Jen has been having problems. When she lays down, her heart starts to race and she gets a big shot of anxiety. Enough that she can't sleep. She's only had a few hours sleep. Maybe even less than me. So Jen called the birth center, and they had us go back to the hospital. AGAIN. for the 45th time in a week and a half. (No really, I've burned an entire tank of gas, and it's only been to the hospital or to the school and back)
At the hospital, Jen was teary as she described the symptoms. It's definitely day 4, and the birth hormones are crashing all around her. They took Jen's pulse and had her lay down. She had one of those anxiety attacks, but her pulse stayed constant. Guess it's just a combination of normal anxiety and sleep deprivation.
In the middle of all this, we realized we had been at the hospital too long, so I ran to the grocery store (Do NOT show up 2 minutes late for Fred Meyer pickup. Oy vey), dropped off groceries at home. Found out all 3 kids were having their own individual emotional crises. Tried to calm all 3. Grabbed some tylenol for Jen because she was late and hurting, and headed back to the hospital (seriously, I could have driven to Florida in hospital trips this week).
On the ride back, Jen let me know that I just simply wasn't doing enough to support her recovery and taking care of Ida. I don't know what to say. I'm getting as little or less sleep than her, and I'm trying to keep the house going. My only target of ire is the kids-- I've spent the last 2 days doing mostly stuff that our teenage kids can and should be doing-- dishes, laundry, cleaning up, taking out trash, mowing the lawn, etc. But they don't. I asked them, pled with them to keep the house as clean as we left it when we left for the hospital. We came home to a disaster. Food all over the floor. Garbage everywhere. I have failed as a parent. I have 3 kids who can't even clean up after themselves, let alone help out their parents. If Sabrina is having a good day, she's often a net positive. (if she's sick like today, she's not). The other two? Not helpful. It is SO much harder to have a new baby dealing with these 3 than it would be if Ida were baby #1. This is making me feel like a failure as a parent, and this really isn't helping, and it's day 4 and it's the worst and everything sucks, and I can't take it anymore.
Well, the kids are in bed. Jen went to bed a bit ago. I fed Ida a bottle and then improvised a bassinet out of a laundry basket so I can keep her downstairs while Jen sleeps upstairs.
Well, baby's fussing, and I still need to put dinner away and clean up the kitchen. I was supposed to work 3 more hours for that part-time job. Oh well. Goodnight, everyone. Hope it gets better soon.
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