Day 9: Dad Palindrome Dad

More of the same midnight hijinx last night.

 

Oh-- I need to tell you a story from yesterday. Betty our Kindergartner was home, doing chores (or at least what chores she would agree to-- see yesterday's story.). She was dusting the library (yes, we have a library. That's another long story for another time), which is near the front door. Betty came running to me, freaked out: "I think there's a ghost in our house!" I asked Betty to explain... "When I was working in the library, I heard a knocking sound." "Uhh, did you check the door? That's where most knocking sounds come from." Checked outside our front door, and sure enough, there was a new package there. "Betty, that wasn't a ghost. It was the mailman. See how they delivered a package?" "No, I'm pretty sure that was a ghost. I think the ghost made the mailman run away."

 

So, telling you that story lets me tell you this: I have a fun new shirt and a fun new record today:

The shirt is this cryptic thing...

 

...that only big fans of this record would get:

...and the record is a picture disc with this cool zoetrope thing on the B-side:

Today Betty was home sick from kindergarten, which is disappointing, and I'm not sure which is worse-- watching spongebob all day and refusing to leave the couch, or the obnoxious chores help she had yesterday. I'm apparently losing my patience and charity towards this sweet 6-year-old. I remember being equally vexed with her sister at this age. Now Sabrina and I are great friends, so I hope I can be kinder to Betty, and eventually recover my relationship with her as well.

Jen and I had our feeding/sleep cycle go well into the morning. If I haven't blogged enough about this, the typical feeding cycle goes like this:

    1) Ida cries and wakes up

    2) Dad stumbles downstairs and gets some breastmilk out of the fridge and attempts to heat it.

    3) Jen spends between 5 and 15 minutes attempting to breastfeed Ida.

    4) Jen passes Ida over to Alex. Typically at this point Jen turns on Cobra Kai.

    5) Alex feeds a bottle to Ida. Ida snoozes but usually takes all or mostly all of the bottle.

    6) Jen runs the breastpump.

    7) Ida falls asleep. Alex burps her, then changes her diaper (which wakes her up), 

    8) Alex burps/snuggles Ida back to sleep again

    9) The Cobra Kai episode ends. Alex lays Ida back in her bassinet, and Jen provides a full bag of milk.

    10) Alex takes the milk downstairs to the fridge while Jen washes out the breastpump apparatus

    11) All 3 of us crash for 2 hours until the cycle starts again.

 

This bag of milk's name is Shirley.

Later today, once we had all woken up, Jen and I took a walk for the first time. We went less than a block, but it was good to get out in the sunlight.

We stopped by our elderly neighbors and let them hold the baby:

 

Sweet baby; Ray.

Dinner was once again donated (Thanks! we are so blessed!). I forgot to take Edgar to his pottery class at the middle school this afternoon. Then I forgot to take Sabrina to her Young Womens service project. I am a dad failure.

I held baby while Jen got the girls to bed tonight (I like that plan!) Then, we watched Women Talking. (could you be more specific?). It was a looooong movie that was basically just... women talking... The borderline-inappropriate jokes just write themselves. It gave a lot to think about, although it was a pretty heavy-handed allegory of the patriarchy and rape culture. I'm sure that I should be ashamed of my gender right now or something... Basically, there's nothing I can say about this movie that won't get me punched, so I'm gonna shut up now.

I put off work and blogging entirely too long, so now it's WAY too late at night, and I have a work meeting in the morning. Boo.

Day 8: Dad dad dad dad

 OK, so round about midnight last night, I was feeding Ida from a bottle, trying our new sitting-up feeding position. She was getting near the end of her bottle and dribbling a lot of warm milk down herself and onto my leg. Then I noticed my leg getting really warm. Somehow, she had her PJs unzipped, her onesie unsnapped, her diaper off sideways, and had managed to land a full load of #1 and #2 directly on my leg. It ran down both sides of my thigh and into my bedsheets. Eww eww eww. I am a human toilet.

I also apparently haven't taken a picture in days. So this blog is boring now.

After showering off the unpleasantness, we slept and watched a bit more Cobra Kai for the midnight feeding. It just gets sillier. I swear at some point I thought they were taking the Karate Kid story seriously, but now...

I got up and did my 7 AM work meeting. Sweet Sabrina got off to school successfully. Then it was time for Betty. In recent history, getting Betty to school has been Jen's job-- partially because Betty is such an extreme Mama's girl, and partially because the 8 AM hour is a real low point for my circadian rhythms and I've found that is the most productive time for me to take a nap.

So I spent much of the 8 AM hour arguing with Betty as to whether she should go to school. "I never ever get a break!" says the kindergartner. Just you wait, girl. So, I agreed to let Betty stay home and do chores today. She started out helpful, but soon launched into non-stop whininess, pickiness over which chores she would do, and general unhelpfulness.

Auntie Brenda and Uncle Karl stopped by with U-bake pizza and salad (!!!). We sure have a great support system.

I did get a few minor errands in today. Got a decent nap in during the afternoon, but really not much happened.

Fast forward to this evening, it looks like all 3 of my older kids are borderline sick. I sure hope this doesn't come back to bite me. I'm looking back at my blog from 6 years ago, and we had all these fun adventures. Now, it seems like we just argue, fight, and get on each others' nerves. Maybe I'm just tired and sick from all the baby feeding.

Day 7: Getting the hang of this?

Midnight viewings of the latest series of Cobra Kai. Were these characters always so cartoonish? All of the grownups are complete buffoons.

Got up this morning and attempted to do work. Was a little tough on the sleep-frazzled brain. Sabrina would not awaken or go to school. Classic case of the Mondays. Betty too. I am too tired and overwhelmed to have to play cheer coach to a truant 12-year-old and 6-year-old. I did manage to get Betty off to school a bit late. I hope Sabrina had enough chores this afternoon that she will think twice about skipping again.

Jen and I went to see a lactation consultant in Camas today. I was so exhausted, I kept passing out during the session so they sent me to nap in the car. Jen had historically had trouble breastfeeding, particularly with newborns. Nevertheless, over 4 kids, we've seen 6 or 7 lactation specialists, and every one has told us different things. So, I'm skeptical of the whole thing. Jen says "It's been 6 years. There's new knowledge out there about breastfeeding" Not likely. Breastfeeding has been around for thousands/millions of years. What new knowledge? Anyway, Jen has a new plan, and some new things to try when nursing Ida, and this will take three times as long to feed her, so we'll get even less sleep.

Soon after returning, I had to take Betty to the dentist this afternoon. Betty was not cool with getting shots and being drilled, but she managed OK (and the dentist was AMAZING). I'm glad things ended up OK.

This evening, I took my car in to a shop 20 miles away that's going to rebuild my carburetors (hopefully) so that the car will be properly berated. Mom and Dad picked me up and we got ice cream on the way home. Yay!

I got a little more work time in. Boring.

Now it is night, and the day has passed entirely too fast.

Day 6: Ramen noodles?

 

  It was a good night last night-- I was able to get up and help with the feedings, and sleep in between, and feel like I'm getting more sleep than I was. Jen and I started the latest season of Cobra Kai, which seems... a whole lot sillier than I remember it being?

I went to church with Betty. It took a lot of fast talking to get Betty to agree to come, but I had committed to visit Betty's primary class, and apparently, I was the last of the parents to do so. So, there was no way that I was going to visit Betty's class while Betty stayed at home watching Spongebob.

After church, I got some decent napping in. No real expectations. This evening, Sabrina and I bleached each other's hair while watching The Princess Bride

    "Look, it's mom's breast pump!" -Edgar

"How do you feel? And remember, it's for posterity, so be honest." -Count Rugen

Since Sabrina and I both have quite dark hair, we will need several applications. This is how far we got today:

"Your hair looks like ramen noodles!" - Sabrina

"Ramen noodles? Can I have some? I'm hungry!" - Betty

So, nothing really exciting to report. A lazy day, a cute baby. Orangeish blond hair.
 

Day 5: Ain't That a Kick in the Head?

 Although we're still on a 3 hour cycle, where once every 3 hours, I wash bottles, rotate milk stock, and bottle feed Ida, I feel like I'm finally getting some sleep.

We got up this morning and were preparing to go to Betty's soccer game, then all of a sudden I was in the shower and it was time to leave. I somehow lost an hour somewhere. Yikes.

 Betty ran hard some of her soccer game. She also lagged behind the pack a little, too.

 

 

Some leftover pictures from the last few days:

Our tiny space in the NICU triage at the hospital.

 

Ida got a lot of compliments on this watermelon blanket. Thanks, Auntie Brenda.

 

Ida gets a little lost in her car seat. She's definitely our smallest baby.

 

 

After the soccer game, we stopped by the beauty supply store (red clown hair incoming!), and I also took Sabrina and Betty to PetSmart. Not to buy anything. We're a strictly non-pet family. But there were cute fish and parakeets and hamsters and one cat there.

 

At home, I got some chores done (and got the kids to help), and then had a long good nap.

 

Long naps are good. Good naps are good. Long good naps are very good.

 

Me and Ida.

Sabrina's been a bit sick, but she gets to help and love on Ida too.

This evening, I got to go see my nephew Garrett fight. I went with Mike Adams (Garrett's old friend), and Glenn (Garrett's brother). Fight was at the Roseland, one of my not-very-favorite places to see shows.. but I did see Sunny Day Real Estate there less than a month ago.

So Garrett has this midlife cris new year's resolution to fight. Particularly to fight in 5 different styles. I'm not sure I could even name 5 styles of fighting (wait-- 1) tickle 2) food 3) knife 4) thumb wrestling, 5) chicken fighting?)

According to Garrett, he has done the following:

Jiu-Jitsu - 2nd Place, Fuji Oregon Summer Championship

No Gi - 2nd Place Expert, Fuji Oregon Summer Championship

Folkstyle Wrestling - 2nd Place, USA Masters Nationals

MMA - Rumble at the Roseland 114

Beach Wrestling - Oregon State Beach Wrestling Championship

 

So this was Garrett's first time doing Mixed Martial Arts. Now, I don't watch UFC on TV.  I know pretty much nothing about this. I haven't seen a fighting sport since I saw Garrett wrestle in high school. So, Garrett wants to be a cage fighter? Just like Monica's boyfriend!

Pretty good seats. Too bad I'm not attractive..

 This was a pretty fun thing to watch. Maybe not as fun as rodeo, but worth going to occasionally. There were 16 bouts. Many (maybe more than half) of the competitors in the first rounds were first-time MMA fighters (usually wrestlers, kick boxers, jiu jitsu dudes etc).

 Garrett fought in fight number 12 of 16 against this beardo dude with a giant scorpion tattooed across his back. Dude was tough. Glenn showed this image to his kids, and Oliver (about 6) said "Oh boy, that guy with the beard has tattoos. That means he's tough!...Also, are those girls gonna fight?"

Anyway, Garrett walked on to Dragula by Rob Zombie. He made a good showing against the other dude:

Pictured: a good showing.

But not too far into the match, the other guy kicked Garrett in the head and he went DOWN. This may have been the only knockout of the night. Match was over in 53 seconds. Garrett was back up and OK, but that ended the fight.

Pictured: a good sport.

So apparently the Oregon Sports Commission (or some acronym like that) issues you a 2 month suspension for being knocked out. That's a weird approach.

 

Outside, afterwards, Garrett was stopped on the sidewalk by some UFC fans who recognized his shirt (Amercan Top Team) and thought he was somebody famous. I guess he fought at Rumble at the Roseland. That's not nothing.

Anyway, we stood in line forever for Voodoo donuts. (I had a Portland Creme. They were out of Memphis Mafia), hung out a bit, and eventually went home. It felt good to be out doing something with "the guys". I can't remember the last time that happened.

OK. Now, late night, sleeping baby, short rest until next feeding. Goodnight.

Day 4: The Nadir

We know. We KNOW that Day 4 is about the worst thing ever, yet it still caught us by surprise.

So, I hope today was the worst and it will all get better from there. I hope.

So I mentioned that I took up a temporary part-time job to pay for these baby proceedings. I had told my part-time job that I needed at least 5 days off postpartum. If baby had come Saturday like we planned, today would have been a good day to return. Instead, baby came Monday, and today was a TERRIBLE time to start. Yet I had already committed, so I got up at 5:30 AM (4 hours sleep!) and tried to act like I know a lot about Power BI deployments. I hadn't done any research since last Friday, but they still seemed to value what I said, so... I guess it worked?

I had to get Betty to school, but first, baby needed fed:

Sabrina stayed home from school today. We had our 2-day baby appointment. Baby is down 8% from her birth weight, which doesn't cause any heartburn for me, but the nurses were concerned. Babies lose weight. that's normal. (shrug). Apparently, Ida isn't developed enough to really truly breastfeed, so the nurse suggested that Jen have Ida try for a bit (to get her practicing), then pump and feed Ida from a bottle. Luckily, Jen's milk has come in, so she's producing plenty. 

 Dropped in on my parents, and they were glad to snuggle baby. I just barely beat Dad in cribbage.

"I don't hold babies." -Dad

 

Came home, got about a 45 minute nap while Jen had Ida nurse, then had to groggily wake up to feed Ida while Jen pumped. Ida went back to sleep after that, and I was supposed to, but instead I came downstairs and did dishes, laundry, and online grocery shopping.

Since last night, Jen has been having problems. When she lays down, her heart starts to race and she gets a big shot of anxiety. Enough that she can't sleep. She's only had a few hours sleep. Maybe even less than me. So Jen called the birth center, and they had us go back to the hospital. AGAIN. for the 45th time in a week and a half. (No really, I've burned an entire tank of gas, and it's only been to the hospital or to the school and back)

At the hospital, Jen was teary as she described the symptoms. It's definitely day 4, and the birth hormones are crashing all around her. They took Jen's pulse and had her lay down. She had one of those anxiety attacks, but her pulse stayed constant. Guess it's just a combination of normal anxiety and sleep deprivation. 

In the middle of all this, we realized we had been at the hospital too long, so I ran to the grocery store (Do NOT show up 2 minutes late for Fred Meyer pickup. Oy vey), dropped off groceries at home. Found out all 3 kids were having their own individual emotional crises. Tried to calm all 3. Grabbed some tylenol for Jen because she was late and hurting, and headed back to the hospital (seriously, I could have driven to Florida in hospital trips this week). 

On the ride back, Jen let me know that I just simply wasn't doing enough to support her recovery and taking care of Ida. I don't know what to say. I'm getting as little or less sleep than her, and I'm trying to keep the house going. My only target of ire is the kids-- I've spent the last 2 days doing mostly stuff that our teenage kids can and should be doing-- dishes, laundry, cleaning up, taking out trash, mowing the lawn, etc. But they don't. I asked them, pled with them to keep the house as clean as we left it when we left for the hospital. We came home to a disaster. Food all over the floor. Garbage everywhere. I have failed as a parent. I have 3 kids who can't even clean up after themselves, let alone help out their parents. If Sabrina is having a good day, she's often a net positive. (if she's sick like today, she's not). The other two? Not helpful. It is SO much harder to have a new baby dealing with these 3 than it would be if Ida were baby #1. This is making me feel like a failure as a parent, and this really isn't helping, and it's day 4 and it's the worst and everything sucks, and I can't take it anymore.

Well, the kids are in bed. Jen went to bed a bit ago. I fed Ida a bottle and then improvised a bassinet out of a laundry basket so I can keep her downstairs while Jen sleeps upstairs.

Well, baby's fussing, and I still need to put dinner away and clean up the kitchen. I was supposed to work 3 more hours for that part-time job. Oh well. Goodnight, everyone. Hope it gets better soon.

Day 3: Still too much, but we've got great friends

 

 

Isn't she adorable?

 

After apologizing profusely to Jen for last night's grumpiness, we had a full day of getting kids places. Betty took her sweet time this morning getting ready, so I had to drive her to school half an hour late. I mowed the lawn, which the kids refused to do because we have a box elder beetle infestation in the yard. That's another thing on my list I still haven't gotten to.

Then, I had to get Sabrina from school to an orthodontist appointment. While I was gone, the Schlereths showed up. These are old friends of ours. They (most of the time) have no fixed address and rock-and-roll tour the lower 48 whilst homeschooling their kids and being a traveling (inspirational) party 100% of the time. We were so blessed that they're in town. They brought some food and snuggled baby. I'm sad I didn't get to see them. You should listen to Kevin's music, buy something, and go see a show.  

Had just a few hours to get some more stuff done. At some point, Jen turns to me and says "If I need to be planning and coordinating meals, I just need to know". Oh. I forgot about food. Like forgot about the fact that it exists, and is a regular human need, and therefore something I need to do for my family, especially for my recovering-from-surgery-and-nursing-a-baby wife. I hadn't had lunch. I hadn't even had breakfast. Yikes, I need some sleep.

Luckily, I was able to cradle baby in one arm and whip up some leftovers with the other arm. There were luckily enough leftovers in the fridge to make this an OK prospect.

 

I got some laundry done, a bit of the house organized, and took 3 kids post-school to their things. Edgar and Sabrina go to Dungeons and Dragons at the library every week. At almost the same time, in the next building over, Betty has swim lessons. After getting everyone where they needed to, I tried to read during swim lessons, but just ended up noisily and publicly snoring in a chair in the middle of the rec center.

 

Afterwards, I took the kids as a treat to Winco. They've never been to winco. They've never known the wonder that is bulk foods. They were limited to 1/2 pound (or 1 pound if they kept all their purchases to under $5.00 a pound) .  We all had so much fun picking out a variety of bin candy. It was wonderful. All our haul came to less than $20, and we had enough to get a 50 cent can of pop for everybody on the way out.

 

We had a few friends stop by this evening, bringing gifts and snuggling Ida (as well as receiving a door dash of Panda from uncle adam and auntie candice. Thanks! Love you!), and it was a fun, if stressful evening.

Wait, did I even get to SEE the baby today? Not much, but just a bit. The struggle over the past few days has been to feed baby, but Jen's milk is coming in, so I anticipate that will be a problem no longer.

I agreed to restart my part-time job tomorrow. I'm not ready. Meeting is at 7 AM. yikes.

OK, here's some pictures of the last few days. I've got more in the wings sometime:

Hello.

A proud Auntie Brenda. Love you, sis.